I Want to Hear the Heart Beating
I’m just thinking about the day we were told by people we knew that we would get to hear the heartbeat of our first baby at the second ultrasound. We didn’t that day, but I’m hoping and praying that today will turn out differently. I’m anxious—not anxious in I’m in great anticipation sense. That seems to hope with too much expectation. No, I’m full of anxiety. I’m trying very hard to avoid any expectations.
I met with the Coffee Gangstas Monday and asked them to pray for us. I realized then I haven’t really been thinking about the pregancy beyond the abstract notion. I know my wife is what doctors call “pregnant,” but I’ve avoided thinking of what that means. I’m afraid that during the first pregnancy I jumped right into thinking that there was a tiny person growing inside my wife’s body. We used a nickname to avoid saying “it” because that’s the pronoun you use for inanimate objects or animals. You use he or she for a person with a soul.
We still don’t use “it”, but until I hear otherwise my wife merely has a medical condition that may get better or worse.
-Dave says:
May 10th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
I’d love to hear how it goes, and I’ll hope that all goes better than you dare hope.
Names for Those Never Born » myopic pilgrim » Blog Archive says:
February 2nd, 2007 at 11:04 am
[...] When do you move from thinking of the baby as an it to a him or her? When is it a person? And I don’t mean medically speaking or spiritually, but emotionally. When are you supposed to allow yourself to connect to the pregancy as more than a medical condition? [...]